I miss my Mumma.
Love is such a strange thing.
Previously, it’s seen me spending way too many nights awake until the early hours, way too many minutes spent on the phone, talking about nothing in particular, way too many dollars spent, trying to connect with him, to get him here, or me there.
It is a hard thing, to have to pretend to love someone, when in fact you love someone else. And the fallout from those feelings is always the same.
An empty bottle, a fumbled mistake, an insincere apology at the end of it all.
Eventually I let it all go. I let the one I wasn’t in love with go, and many months later I let the one I really did love go.
Unrequited love is possibly one of the hardest things a person can put themselves through. It rarely ever works out. Very rarely. But strangely enough, eventually, for me it did.
I let the person I loved the most go. I severed ties. I ceased communication. And then one night, three months later, my phone rang at midnight.
And now I get to wake up every morning and see him sleeping on the pillow next to mine.
by jazstereo
I’ve been sick and snotty for 5 days now. It’s put me in the crankiest mood ever because I physically can’t do the things I want to do. Even walking up my driveway has me coughing and collapsing at the top. Lame.
We’re moving to Wollongong on Sunday afternoon! So much to be done between now and then but I’m actually starting to get excited and feel like all of this is real.
I don’t even remember the last time I took to my Tumblr in hopes of actually writing more than a sentence, but I can assure myself that it must at least seem like a long time ago. So much has changed in the last few months, things that, if you had told me back then about where I’d be now I probably would have slapped your face and then fallen over backwards with shock. Because it is just that much like WOW!
Three months ago I was living in Wollongong NSW with my Daddy, my two little brothers, my old doggie and my new puppy. I was working 2 days a week at a cinema and spending my pay and my Centrelink money on alcohol, clothes and whatever else tickled my fancy. I was single, I had rad times with my friends and I didn’t care about much. My best friend and I weren’t even speaking because we were both too busy thinking about our own lives, 700 kilometres apart, to be bothered with each other.
Then there was a phonecall, and many others followed. A trip was planned. And then one night, after two years of trying to deny what was quite obvious to both of us, everything fell into place. And now I’m in a relationship, and living with my boyfriend in Grafton, on the North Coast of NSW. In two weeks we’re going to pack up our little bedroom and shove as much of our stuff as we can into ‘the wagon’ and come back home to Wollongong. I’ll still be living with my Daddy, and brothers and my dogs who hate each other, but now the final piece of the puzzle will be there too.
And I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am about that.
We rant, we bicker, we blame them and we demand of them when we’re in need. It’s just so easy to turn to those who raised you and point the finger, telling them it’s their fault that your life has become so royally fucked up. The things they will so willingly give whenever you need, and the thoughts and beliefs they’ve instilled in us bring us back down to earth during those bad times and they make you remember, no matter what has happened, and what they’ve done, they’ve always done the very best that they could have done with the information and tools that they possessed at the time.
(via youwillneverwastemytime)
Paris Tattoo Art Festival (via jeremyDP)